Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Why I Don't Run...

Hi lovelies - today I want to tell you about why I don't run...

My roommate is a crazy fitness junkie. She likes to challenge herself physically quite often, and last year she completed a 10k, a half marathon, and a super spartan race. She's kind of a machine. Quite often when mutual friends are talking to her about running, they'll ask me if I run - which usually causes me to laugh. You don't want to see my fat fluffy butt running anywhere.
I don't run.

There are only two reasons that I would ever run:
A: I'm being chased by a murderer and need to run for my life
B: I need to catch my bus.

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This is something that you'd never see me partake in.

So let's backtrack a bit - last year I had an incident while running for the bus.

I was on my way home from work - I took bus #1, got off at the necessary stop and I was walking to stop #2 to catch the other bus that would take me home. As I'm casually walking towards the bus stop, I hear something behind me and turn just in time to see the bus coming towards me. I panic and start to run. My guess is that I looked a little something like this...



I don't have far to run, honestly. I only have to cross a main intersection (Broadway and Granville... it's pretty busy) and run about 3/4 of a block to the stop. I start running, casually, in the direction of the stop. The bus isn't there yet, so I figure that if I keep at a steady pace, I'll make it in time. I've got my purse slung over my shoulder, and a bag or two in my hands, and I'm on my way to catching the bus that will take me home after a long day at the office.

As I'm running across the intersection, I notice that my pants are feeling a bit loose. I basically shrug it off, and keep running. By the time I get across the intersection, I can tell that my pants have fallen down my butt quite a bit and I say a quick 'thank you' that I wore a long-ish shirt that day. I keep running, a little faster now, to make sure I can catch this bus and not have to wait for the next one - as I'm running, my pants are falling further and further down. I'm not kidding when I say that my pants were around my knees by the time I got to the bus. I would say at least 100 people saw me running down the street virtually pantless. I quickly threw my bags on the ground, pulled my pants up, picked everything up and boarded the bus.



I probably looked a little something like this.

When I got on the bus, I got a really interesting look from the driver and most of the bus patrons. I casually showed the driver my bus pass, and walked to the back of the bus and sat down. Surprisingly, nobody made any kind of snarky comment/remark about my pantless debacle, and for that: I am grateful.

So, friends, in case you're wondering: Unless I'm being chased by a murderer or late for the bus, I do not run.

4 comments:

Brittany Lea said...

I do believe that is an incident that would make one not want to run. Being chased by a murderer is a good time to run though!

I love the second gif! haha ;)

Staci said...

Ahahahaha this is hilarious! I don't run either. And I recently decided even if I was being chased by a murderer I wouldn't run. Because he's GOING to catch me. I might as well save my energy & just be ready to fight.

Faith Bowyer said...

Haha, I know - right? Makes me not want to run, for sure...

Faith Bowyer said...

Haha... your perspective is interesting. I think you may have just convinced me that I no longer have ANY reason to run.