Thursday, August 8, 2013

Captain America, Pirates, and Jesus


So last night I was browsing the interwebz for a while - searching through mugshots. No, seriously.
I'm not going to name any names, but a friend wanted help trying to see if someone has been arrested and if they were/are currently on parole. During my search I came across some truly interesting mugshots, and I was encouraged to share some of this hilariousness... so here we go.


If I was a police officer, this is the EXACT way that I would make my grand entrance when busting someone.


Friendly Reminder: If you are arrested, your mugshot is able to be viewed by the public. There are public records, your picture is posted online, and if your mugshot is amusing - it could end up on a blog.
So don't do dumb shit don't get caught.


    Captain Amurrrica

    This guy is my favorite. This one is just too good. He was arrested for allegedly distributing Xanax on July 4th. At least homeboy is patriotic, I'll give him that.


    Captain Jack Sparrow Meth


    He's a pirate. Well, at least he thinks he's a pirate. He has fully committed to this lifestyle with those tattoos, so at least he is passionate about something. Unfortunately, he was also really passionate about meth.


    Kangaroo Jack

    He looks really creepy - but this poor guy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was kind enough to return a lost driver's license that he had found, only to be promptly arrested for being in possession of a pipe used for smoking marijuana. Karma just wasn't on his side, at least he has a kangaroo on his face to cheer him up. I'd also like to point out that he's possibly naked under the vest (which just so happens to be the same color as his skin).


    "Pep" the dog

    This is real life. This poor dog, Pep, was arrested. Why? You ask. Well, it seems like Pep got a little hungry and ate the governor's wife's cherished cat. I'm not kidding you in the slightest bit right now. Pep served a life sentence without parole.


    Jesus 'James' Christ

    At first glance, you might think that this is an 'accurate depiction' of Jesus, to clarify - you'd be right. Apparently 'James' was arrested for impersonating Jesus. No James, you are Jesus... I'm convinced. Someone left a comment on this arrest post saying 'What if this really is Jesus? What if the first time we crucified and killed him and this time we arrested him?' Touche random concerned citizen, lets just hope that James is really just James, and not in fact Jesus. However, if I'm wrong and the man arrested is, in fact, Jesus... well I guess I'm sorry Jesus. I think I just said Jesus 10x. Jesus.




To summarize - if you get arrested, I will find your mugshot, and if you look crazy, I'll probably make fun of you. Again, don't do dumb shit DON'T GET CAUGHT.


14 comments:

Kelli @She Crab Soup said...

Hahahaha, pirate guy is my favorite and the poor guy with the pipe was just trying to help!

Life of a Little Songbird said...

This is hilarious!! I do not understand why people get face tattoos! Crazy!

Jay T said...

This was AMAAAAAAAZING. I couldn't have even imagined better mugshots than these.

Helene in Between said...

Haha OMG this is just plain awesome. Jesus James is my fave

Allie @ Tales of a TwentySomething said...

I love how you've moved on from bad online dating profiles to mug shots. Makes me proud.

Samantha @ Life is But a Stream of Thoughts said...

These are absolutely hysterical!

Beth Bradford said...

This is awesome! When I was a waitress, my coworkers and I would get the "Slammer" every time it came out and browse through all the ridiculous mugshots. Once we found another employee in there!

City Life Attempter said...

This is hilarious! I do feel bad for the puppy though :(

Liz @ Fitness Blondie said...

hahahahaa OMG the dog ATE the cat? That's sad but freaking dogs are wired to chase cats. What a bunch of idiots for "arresting" him :(

Erin said...

I once peed in the grass outside of a police station and got in trouble. (This might need to be my next new random blog post) But I did it on the night of a sorority tradition in which we have paint all over our faces. I got in trouble, but thank god not arrested or else that mug shot would definitely be up here.

Erin said...

I once peed in the grass outside of a police station and got in trouble. (This might need to be my next new random blog post) But I did it on the night of a sorority tradition in which we have paint all over our faces. I got in trouble, but thank god not arrested or else that mug shot would definitely be up here.

Kathy @ Vodka and Soda said...

the pirate guy....is that a tat of the chevrolet logo on his face? BAHAHAHAHA!

talk about dedication to being a pirate!

-kathy
Vodka and Soda

Jay T said...

I just had to read this again and tell you (again) what a great friend you are for doing this (and also just in general)!!!

Kelly {Sparkles and Shoes} said...

Haha, this is hysterical - I did not know that!

xx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes