Well, it's Thursday and I'm finally just gracing the blog world with my presence. Yeah, my bad.
So, as I've mentioned before, I'm really stepping completely out of my comfort zone this year - and shared a few of my feats of stepping out of said 'comfort zone' so far this year. Well, after I wrote that blog post, I ended up completing one more feat of stepping out of my comfort zone in January, and clearly it needs to be documented.
For the record, this is totally one of those stories that I shouldn't share on my blog, since basically anyone in my life can read this... BUT... no shame, right? Right.
Lets back track a little bit here - there is a Starbucks near my office that a few of my colleagues and I frequent on a regular basis (okay, it's daily - don't judge me). We've gotten to know all of the baristas that work there, and have a pretty decent relationship with all of them... Well at the beginning of January, I happened to have a dream about one of the baristas.
In said dream, I asked him out, and I remember going on an amazing date - and then I woke up. Those are the only vague details that I can remember. Somehow, because of this obnoxious dream, I developed a crush on this guy. When I say crush, I mean a full-blown school girl kinda crush where I'd giggle at stupid things he'd say and flirt INCESSANTLY.
A few of my close friends knew about this crush, and a few of my colleagues knew about this crush. Bad call on my part for telling anyone because it quickly became a daily question. They would see my Starbucks cup sitting on my desk and they'd ask if I finally 'got up the balls' to just ask the guy out. And the answer was always no.
... Because I mean really, can we just take a second to discuss how nerve-wracking it is to actually ASK somebody out? Am I alone in this? Don't get me wrong, I have no problem asking a guy out through text if we've been talking/getting to know each other. But, the whole 'approaching a stranger and asking them out' thing is just flat out scary. Well, I thought it was. I now feel like I've conquered that fear, but it's whatever. Anyway...
My frequent trips over to Starbucks resulted in countless encounters of involving my over-the-top amazing flirting skills. Take, for example, last week - I called the barista (you know - THE GUY I WAS CRUSHING ON) an asshole when he offered me free cake... Because that's clearly how you flirt in Faith's world. One of my colleagues didn't let me forget that one for the rest of the day...
Finally, on Friday, after this had been going on for about three weeks... I got up the 'lady balls' to do it. I went over and purchased my tea, chatted with the guy for a few minutes and then walked away. I cursed myself and texted with one of my girlfriends that knew about the situation and she called me every variation of wimp known to mankind... thanks for that. You know who you are. Anyway, I sat at one of the tables inside and waited for the line up to die down so I could finally do it... but after 10 minutes the line-up was NOT dying down and I was starting to look like some kind of creep - so I grabbed my stuff and headed for the door.
As I was walking out, I literally walked straight into him and he kind of gave me a shocked look and asked what I was still doing there. I told him I was killing time before an appointment that I had, but was leaving now. Then I told myself to woman up and do it NOW or forever hold your peace (I mean, that's basically what I said to myself), and the conversation went a little like this:
Me: 'uhhh so I've got like a super random question for you.
Him: 'okay? what's up?'
Me: 'would you want to go out some time?'
*THIS IS WHERE HE GETS INSANELY NERVOUS*
Him: 'uhhh... well... I... uhh... I'm kinda seeing someone. Sorry.'
Me: *laughs* 'okay, cool! no big deal'
Him: 'thanks? sorry! but thanks...
And then he turned around abruptly and
So, there's that.
I actually feel bad for the guy since he was visibly nervous/uncomfortable... he may be awkward with me for a while.
The funny thing was that I walked away and walked down the street for about 15 minutes with a HUGE smile on my face. Solely based on the fact that I got out of my comfort zone and asked him out. I conquered the stupid fear and did it. I honestly didn't care that he said no, like, at all.
Note to self: try not to make other people uncomfortable while you're getting out of your comfort zone.