If you've been around this blog for a little while, you may remember that last year I did a 90-Day Challenge from September - December to kick my butt and work on my weight-loss. I have decided to do this challenge again. Starting next Tuesday (Sept. 2), the day after Labour Day, I will be going balls to the wall and working out, eating clean, and getting lean.
I have gotten really inconsistent with my workouts the past few months, and I've allowed myself to have more cheat meals than I'd care to admit. I feel like a failure for "coming out" on my blog, so to speak, about not staying on top of my health and working towards my fitness goals. I've allowed myself to gain about 5lbs since February, and while I realize that isn't a lot - I'm still disappointed that I've gained anything.
I'm going to get a little real and honest and serious with y'all because I feel like the best way to go into this is to be up front. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm not where I thought I would be at this point in the year when I was making goals in January and February. I can't sit here and dwell on what I haven't accomplished this year, because that will just put me in a dark place. I'm happy with the way my life has progressed this year, and I couldn't be happier that I found the the love of my life. But, I definitely haven't taken enough time for myself this year to continue to work on my goals and get to a healthy weight that I'd be happy with.
Last year I dedicated 8 whole months to myself. I made my own health a priority, I prioritized my times properly, and I made MYSELF a priority every day. It sounds like common sense, but it's hard for me... it's not easy to make time to do things for ME, it's not easy for me to put my own needs ahead of others, it's not easy for me to say no to people so that I can do things for myself instead. Last year I found that groove - that happy balance - that place where I could eat, sleep, work, workout, repeat. But now I have all different priorities and things have changed.
I've blogged about accountability, and its important role in succeeding with weight-loss. I truly believe that I work my hardest and find my greatest successes when I know that somebody or something is counting on me. If I blog about this and 'come clean' about my not-so-healthy lifestyle this year, and commit to making a change, I know I'll do it. Because for me, I can't stand the thought of letting anyone down (even strangers... I know, it's weird). The fact that I've sat here and shared my embarrassing truths and failures about this year, and said that I'm kicking my butt into overdrive and doing another 90-day challenge starting September 2nd, I know I'll find success. I know that I'll be able to hold my head high at the end of this year knowing that I got my butt in gear and gave it my all.
Lately I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself and having a lot of negative self-image issues. I only see the fat on my body and can't seem to see the good things that I've done for myself ... oh, like how I lost 100lbs last year. I feel discouraged (quite often), and can't motivate myself to do anything about it. I'll allow myself cheat meals ALL the time instead of once a week. I'll only workout once or twice a week instead of 5-6x a week. I could sit here and tell you all the horrible thoughts in my head and the negative feelings I have about myself, but that won't solve a single thing. The truth is, I need to get back to finding a groove that works for me and kicking my butt into gear.
So, friends, here I am - tail between my legs - and broadcasting to myself, friends/family, and a world full of strangers: it's time for a change. Here's to a great end to a wonderful year (despite the negative thoughts, I have loved 2014). Here's to new beginnings and great changes. Here's to a life full of good health and happiness. I hope you all can hold me accountable and support me in this upwards battle.