Thursday, August 28, 2014

The Vulnerable Truth 4.0



Oh hi there, friends.

If you've been around this blog for a little while, you may remember that last year I did a 90-Day Challenge from September - December to kick my butt and work on my weight-loss. I have decided to do this challenge again. Starting next Tuesday (Sept. 2), the day after Labour Day, I will be going balls to the wall and working out, eating clean, and getting lean.

I have gotten really inconsistent with my workouts the past few months, and I've allowed myself to have more cheat meals than I'd care to admit. I feel like a failure for "coming out" on my blog, so to speak, about not staying on top of my health and working towards my fitness goals. I've allowed myself to gain about 5lbs since February, and while I realize that isn't a lot - I'm still disappointed that I've gained anything.

I'm going to get a little real and honest and serious with y'all because I feel like the best way to go into this is to be up front. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm not where I thought I would be at this point in the year when I was making goals in January and February. I can't sit here and dwell on what I haven't accomplished this year, because that will just put me in a dark place. I'm happy with the way my life has progressed this year, and I couldn't be happier that I found the the love of my life. But, I definitely haven't taken enough time for myself this year to continue to work on my goals and get to a healthy weight that I'd be happy with.


Last year I dedicated 8 whole months to myself. I made my own health a priority, I prioritized my times properly, and I made MYSELF a priority every day. It sounds like common sense, but it's hard for me... it's not easy to make time to do things for ME, it's not easy for me to put my own needs ahead of others, it's not easy for me to say no to people so that I can do things for myself instead. Last year I found that groove - that happy balance - that place where I could eat, sleep, work, workout, repeat. But now I have all different priorities and things have changed.

I've blogged about accountability, and its important role in succeeding with weight-loss. I truly believe that I work my hardest and find my greatest successes when I know that somebody or something is counting on me. If I blog about this and 'come clean' about my not-so-healthy lifestyle this year, and commit to making a change, I know I'll do it. Because for me, I can't stand the thought of letting anyone down (even strangers... I know, it's weird). The fact that I've sat here and shared my embarrassing truths and failures about this year, and said that I'm kicking my butt into overdrive and doing another 90-day challenge starting September 2nd, I know I'll find success. I know that I'll be able to hold my head high at the end of this year knowing that I got my butt in gear and gave it my all.


Lately I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself and having a lot of negative self-image issues. I only see the fat on my body and can't seem to see the good things that I've done for myself ... oh, like how I lost 100lbs last year. I feel discouraged (quite often), and can't motivate myself to do anything about it. I'll allow myself cheat meals ALL the time instead of once a week. I'll only workout once or twice a week instead of 5-6x a week. I could sit here and tell you all the horrible thoughts in my head and the negative feelings I have about myself, but that won't solve a single thing. The truth is, I need to get back to finding a groove that works for me and kicking my butt into gear.

So, friends, here I am - tail between my legs - and broadcasting to myself, friends/family, and a world full of strangers: it's time for a change. Here's to a great end to a wonderful year (despite the negative thoughts, I have loved 2014). Here's to new beginnings and great changes. Here's to a life full of good health and happiness. I hope you all can hold me accountable and support me in this upwards battle.



15 comments:

Sami said...

You're such a strong person and that's why I admire you as much as I do. We haven't had alot of time to chat lately and that makes me sad but my life is a ball of stress and stress has certainly given me the excuse to eat whatever I want and lately I just feel gross. Even when I'm unhappy with the way I look I still can't motivate myself to make changes and that is so frustrating. Seeing you kick it back into high gear might be the push I really need. xo

Jay T said...

I will absolutely help to keep you accountable and support you in any way you need during these 90 days (AND BEYOND). You are SUCH an inspiration and I know that when you set a goal (500 squats/day etc) you DO IT and I don't think this will be any different. Don't people say that acknowledgment is the first step to change or something? YOU GOT THIS.

allieology said...

You are SO amazing. I never want you to feel like you've failed at all. Things happen in life that change our normal routine all the time, and if yours was something like finding the love of your life, then you have succeeded. I am so proud of you and I know you will continue to kick butt. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH <3

Jamie Danielle said...

I think I am going to join you on this 90 day.
Sadly, I fell off the wagon Thanksgiving last year & never seemed to be able to get back into the swing of things & gained the 30lbs I lost back (horrible, I know)

Brandi said...

This is an amazing post!! You are an amazing woman and have already accomplished so much!! Stay strong you can do it! Remember how far you have come! I felt that so many things in this post were written about me because I have felt the exact same way! I wish you all the best in your journey and hope one day I can be as strong as you are and make the changes that I need to make to put myself first and make myself a better healthier me! Thank you for your honesty! You really are a true inspiration!

Lindsay Landgraf said...

YOU CAN DO THIS. And Allie's totally right, you have failed at absolutely nothing. But this is so exciting, you're going to rock it. I'm proud of you! Get it girl.

Becca @ Becoming Adorrable said...

You've got this!! I love the idea of making myself a priority. That... I think I'm going to think about that some more.

Lauren Fogerty said...

Making yourself a priority is hard. I totally agree. You lost 100 lbs in one year which is AMAZING. You obviously know what makes you successful. I recently read "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans Too" about intuitive eating and it totally changed the way I look at diet and exercise. The part of the book that most resonates with me is about how in any journey to change a behavior we face setbacks and often get discouraged. We tend to be our own worst critic. When a baby learns to walk, they stand up and fall down, then take a few steps and fall down. They keep trying and we never discourage them when they're learning that they can't do it all correctly all at once. We get excited for them with each small success. Just a thought :) Congrats to you on all your successes!

Jackie @ Our Nashville Life said...

I'm doing this with you! I planned on starting the weekend after Labor Day only because my birthday is that week too and I will have my b-day Creme Brulee.

Kathleen {Life With Red} said...

You look great! What you losing 100lbs is such an accomplishment! You are an inspiration! I've been saying all summer I want to get back to eating healthy and holding myself accountable! You just inspired to join this bandwagon on Tuesday too!!

Britt said...

You've made SO much progress! I will definitely be joining you!

Allie said...

100 pounds is AMAZING - with that under your belt, you definitely have it in you to work really hard at this! Congrats in taking on a new challenge and being so honest about it all. I could tell reading this that your heart is in it and you're going to be great!

Him & Me (But Mostly Me) said...

Wow! 100lbs? That is an amazing thing to accomplish! I did half of that, but I'm up 10 right now and really need to get it down.... so I think I will join you on Tuesday on getting back on track and logging my food and getting it taken care of (although I gained 10, I wouldn't mind losing 20 or 30).

Pistol Pete said...

Excellent post. Not sure how a girl goes "balls to the wall," but then again, I'm your 59-yr old Dad and don't understand most of what you youngins say.
I had planned on writing something inspirational and encouraging and say how you have inspired and encouraged me, but you already have a host of great friends who have done that for you. Nice!
So I'll leave it at this ... your Mom and I will be honoured to join your challenge. I'm glad it will be Tuesday because we still have 1 or 2 tires left to slash this weekend. Love ya Darl.

findinganewhappy said...

You are such a strong person! You motivate me to get on the same track and start moving in the right direction towards a happy weight. I need to make goals and learn to stick to them! You are in inspiration!!

Anyway, I blogged some fun facts today and thought it would be fun if some of my fave bloggers followed suit. http://findinganewhappy.wordpress.com/2014/08/29/242/
Happy Long Weekend!